HERSCHEL, THE MAGNIFICENT JEW

(stolen from Old Jews Telling Jokes.com)

A long time ago, I was in Kenosha Wisconsin setting up a storage container manufacturing plant. That was in 1966. In the evening of the first night that I was there, I drove into town. In front of the Capitol Theater I saw a sign that said, Herschel the Magnificent Jew. I was very curious.

So I bought a ticket and went in and sat down. There was a pretty good sized crowd. The announcer introduced Herschel with lots of clapping from the audience. Mr. Herschel was a normal looking guy wearing a bathrobe. He took his bathrobe off and was completely naked on the stage.

Whatever large sized equipment you have ever seen on a man, this was four times bigger. Arrayed in front of him were three walnut shells on a table. He took his member and smashed the walnuts to pieces. The crowd roared and clapped. They were still clapping as they left the theater.

I did not return to Kenosha for about twenty years. By this time I was visiting my nephew in Madison. Would you believe when I went into town, The Capitol Theater still had the sign up, Herschel the Magnificent Jew. I was astounded. How could this possibly be?

I bought my ticket and went in and sat down. The crowd was still pretty large. The announcer introduced Mr. Herschel, who was wearing the same robe as he did twenty years before. When he disrobed, he looked exactly as he did twenty years before.

Arrayed before him were three coconuts. He took his member in his hand and smashed the coconuts to smithereens. The crowd roared and clapped as they did twenty years before. They continued to clap as Mr. Herschel put on his robe and bowed.

I was so curious, that I managed to go back stage and saw Mr. Herschel. I asked him about his switch from walnuts to coconuts. He looked at me with sad eyes and said, “As I got older my eyes weren’t as they used to be.”

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