News Release: 5 March 2017

In an unusual tweet among most of the President’s tweets, Donald Trump has written his own obituary. He did it this morning in a series of tweets that our staff has combined for readability. All hashtags have been removed.

“Donald Trump, President of the United States of America died peacefully in his sleep last night. The President’s family was notified immediately to come to his bedside. However, it was too late; he had fallen into a coma and then died at 2:05 a.m. March 5, 2017.

His first 44 days in office were the most productive of all of the other Presidents of the United States of America. Just as his electoral victory was the largest in history, he carried forth most of his campaign promises at a ferocious rate.

Not only was he the most ambitious of presidents, but he was the most effective. He was able to unite the country in those 44 days as they had never been united before. Men and women of good will gathered to praise him in their places of worship. Large crowds gathered in public places to praise the man who had led his country out of the carnage of the last administration.

His foreign policy gambits were seen as extraordinary by both foreign policy experts and the press. Foreign leaders could not believe how much he had effected the international situation with his creative ideas about how countries should get along. He used the U.S. as an example of reaching out to even the most bombastic of dictators to establish a positive dialogue. This was no mean feat for such countries as North Korea and Belarus. His movement toward Russia and establishing normal relations with Vladimir Putin put him on the list as one of our country’s finest diplomats.

On the economic front, he brought back thousands of jobs to the U.S. His plans for the economy caused a gigantic rise in the Dow (record highs) and the other measures of stock prices.

His budget plans, although unfinished because of his death were thoughtful and balanced. His increase in military spending coupled with elimination of redundant federal programs allowed the budget deficit to come under control. He also demanded that our allies pull their fair share of the load, as well as a well-timed directive to other countries to pay their dues to the United Nations.

Undoubtedly, Trump’s death will never be able to show that he was the best President of the United States that we ever had. His memory will live on in the hearts and minds of all the people of the U.S.A.







2 thoughts on “TRUMP TWEETS OWN OBIT

  1. Be careful who sees this!!! I can think of people I know who will believe this. Not the death, but Trump’s tremendous and flawless handling of his first months.

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