MY HOME IS BANGALORE

 

Bangalore, actually Bangaluru is the capitol of the province of Karnataka Province in India. It is the home of classical Indian music, dance and cutting edge nightlife. It is also the home of a bunch of call centers. I guess I have a small shred of knowledge of call centers because my son runs them.

I am sure that sometime over the past few years you have had an encounter with one of these call centers. It was probably initiated by you because something happened to your computer and it was not working perfectly, or at all. A program may have been corrupted, or you just bought a new computer and it did not work like the salesman explained it to you.

If any of those things happened and you called the help desk call center, you got a person whose name may have been Robin, Alvin, Fred, James, or Frank. His real name was really Ravindra, Ramu, Sanjeev, or Seneil. For some reason, people like to talk to Alvin, rather than Ravindra. It seems to the call center person that an Indian name would start things off in a negative way. Actually, it is not the name that is the first thing that strikes you, it is the accent. Although most of us are familiar with Indian accents, we would more probably want to speak to someone with a Brooklyn accent.

The introduction by the first level technician is filled with pleasantries and then more pleasantries. “What is your name? How can we be of assistance?” “Yes” I say, “Would you please speak more slowly, I have a tough time understanding you.” “Yes, certainly, my name is ALVIN,  as in army, l as in lima, v as in virgin, I as in I and n as in November. Altogether my name is Alvin.” “How may I help you?” So far so good, right? You bet/

Now comes the first of the cultural differences between us. My name is Jean Jacques Crawb (that is the first of my mistakes; I should have said Bob Jones or something really simple). Does the word obsequious mean anything to you? I am not sure what the real meaning is, but to me it has always meant too much of somebody’s behavior. It might be over the top manners, too much thanks overdone questioning.

In this case it is all three. The explanation of my problem was one of the hardest things in the world for me to convey. I will try it with you. This is what I said. I was speaking to a tekkie from Microsoft Outlook. I told the fellow that I could not use the search function in my Outlook program. What came next was a series of statements and questions that could have only come from someone who may have wanted to be pleasant, but went well over the limit.

I am sorry that your computer is not working properly. It is my intention to take just a few moments to review your problem and to make your program operate properly. I will, with your permission, and your help take control of your computer, if you can see your way to allowing me to do this. With the control of your computer, I will enter into your software and discover the problem with your  program. I hope that you do not mind my taking control of your computer. We are well trained Microsoft technicians that have been trained for just such an occasion.

I was on the phone with these gentlemen for two hours. Somewhere around the tenth time of him excusing himself because he was unable to fix it and his attempt to continue with the phone call, he said this,” If you would be so kind to allow me to work on this problem over the next 12 hours, I will call you at 9:00 a.m. Eastern time to show you how I have discovered the problem and have repaired it. This entire job he was going to do for a year’s maintenance fee of $245. At that point, I had no choice. He was in the middle of fixing it.

The next morning, he did indeed call at 9:00 a.m. Eastern time. Would you believe it was not the same person? “I am sorry that we have not, as yet repaired your program. I will need a few hours to locate the problem and then fix it.” By this time, I had lost it. I demanded to speak to the supervisor. This was Ravindra, who did the same obsequious thing and wound up excusing everything that had happened to us since the beginning of time.

He told me that he was a second level technician and that he would be able to fix it. We have him some time and then he did not fix it and asked for more time. I refused and asked from my money back. He was caught up short by that. “Have we not provided the service that you have asked for?” “Yes” I replied, “but you did not fix the program.” He was aghast at my dissatisfaction. You see that he felt that since I was treated well by his minions that I was not going to be angry. He could not imagine that as beautifully as I was treated, I would want my money back. I asked for the office that takes care of the money. He transferred me and would you believe this person told me that he was a 3rd level technician and that he could fix it, if we could give him a few hours.

I felt my head explode. I did keep my cool and told him that all I wanted from him was to get my money back. He said it would be removed in 48 hours and even then asked if there was anything more that I could do. I said that he had done enough.

About two hours later, I got a call asking if there was anything that they could do to fix our problem. I just put the phone down. Later on that day I got this email.

From: <support@myphonesupport.com>

Reply-To: <support@myphonesupport.com>

Date: Tuesday, December 20, 2016 at 1:33 PM

To: Jean Jacques Crawb

Subject: Case Cancellation

Dear Mr. Crawb,

As the issue you had raised on 2016-12-20 20:10:43 [ Case Id 6461331601 ] is established to be remotely unresolvable, we are now formally cancelling the case. However, we solemnly assume that you were satisfied with the services provided to you in the meantime. If you have any feedback regarding MyPhoneSupport services, we would be more than glad to hear from you.

Please spare a few minutes to provide your precious feedback by answering five simple questions in our customer satisfaction survey. Your feedback will help us enhance our services to serve you better in the future.

To submit your response, kindly click on the link below:

Survey Link http://survey.myphonesupport.com/index.php?srvid=20161221000342-74776297&caseid=6461331601

Sincerely,

MyPhoneSupport Team

 

You cannot believe what I said in the survey

 

 

 

 

 

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