DON’T TAKE THOSE PILLS

I am sure that many of you have seen advertisements about medications on television. The ad normally begins with the advantages of taking Placenta, a miracle cure for stomach ailments. The sincere and sonorous voice tells you how this medication has been approved by the FDA. Further the trials of Placenta have been successful in 80% of the experimental group compared to 20% of the random group who were given a placebo. The random group exhibited symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome after taking the placebo and of the group 50% wound up in the emergency rooms of their local hospital. So much for the random group.
If you have/ had the following, please consult your physician before taking Placenta- Munchausen Syndrome, Jurgens Myasthenia (where you nose mysteriously slips from your face), night sweats, rotten crotch, lympho epithelial like carcinoma, Vega’s Disease ( found in people who have just come back from the moons of Jupiter), Pitirosforomovali, and stupidity.
Placenta has been found to effect those who are left handed are over 6 feet tall or are pigeon toed. If any of the following occur, please consult your doctor; bleeding gums, swelling of your anus, elongation of your fingers and toes, change in eye color, increased pigmentation, swollen ear lobes, intense desire for humus, and an enlarging of your breasts, or penis. These were found in 2 % of the cases while, others such as stuttering, language change and English Muffin breath were found in .001 of cases.
Please call for a free first dose of Placenta to 666-666-6667 and ask for the Count. A box of Placenta will be shipped to you immediately. Shipping and handling will be 25 dollars.
By the time this ad is finished, I have either fallen asleep, or have gone to the kitchen for a snack.

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