STANLEY HAS LEFT THE BUILDING

On Friday morning, Stanley Sanders, my brother-in-law, my sister’s husband for over 65 years passed away. He was 86 years old. I had known Stanley since I was eleven years old. He even slept in a bed with me when he stayed over our apartment in Forest Hills. He has been part of my life since then. If you add up all of the years, I have known him for sixty six years. That’s a long time to know someone.
I don’t really remember how he met my sister, but they were married late in 1950. I believe that the reception was at our apartment. I still have those pictures wandering around in the copious photo albums here in my house. Once in a while, Carol and I take a look at all of the old pictures and remember where we were, even before we met, in the pictures. Our memories must be pretty good; we get it almost every single time.
Stanley burst into our lives as a poor boy with a great deal of ambition. At the beginning of their marriage, Stanley went to City College of New York to get his master’s degree. I can recall my sister typing and correcting a master’s thesis paper. I have no idea, to this day, what it was about. It really seemed to be impressive.
Stanley was a handsome guy with some great dancing skills. Not sure if he swept my sister off her feet, but he could have. Stan was a pretty good athlete. In later years, he would come down to the basketball courts at Forest Hills High School. He would bring his friends around. Some of them were even very good players. I can remember Alvin as a fair player with lots of energy. Stanley was a good bowler and took me to Brooklyn to be on a bowling team when one player was absent. Actually, I did pretty well myself.
Stanley was a very proud man. When he got his very first new car, a 1954 Ford, he encouraged me to go with him on its first outing. We went out to the Van Wyck Expressway in New York. As we made kind of an angle turn, he slammed into a railing and smashed the driver side fender. He was upset by the happening. I believe the car could actually drive. I was never told about what happened next. I guess he was a bit put out by what happened. I am not sure that we ever discussed it ever again.
I believe Stan began to work at Bache and Company. I had a hard time keeping up with what he was doing. He and my sister had three children- two doctors and social worker (getting jobs for handicapped people). The credo for their family was intelligence. That was most respected by Stanley and later his children.
Since Carol and I were educators, we had a different view of intelligence and also success. We spent many hours with my sister and Stan in disputation over that subject. At the end of the discussions we would be sitting in their kitchen and laughing hysterically over a joke or a tale by Stanley about some happening in his world.
Stanley succeeded in becoming the president of a securities firm. In his heart, he was always a customer’s man and carried that forward into his 80’s. His understanding of economics was way above the talking heads on television. He foresaw a number of severe economic problems and was not a fan of the Federal Reserve. He was a true blue conservative in the old sense of the word.
In many ways, I will miss Stanley. He had been a fixture in my life since I was eleven. I look forward to his memorial, when we all will sit around and tell our favorite Stanley stories. It will be the same kind of gathering as it was for my mother’s memorial. It will bring back fond memories.

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