IT’S CHRISTMAS AND IT’S 80 DEGREES

Today is December 25, 2015. Today is December 25, 2015. Let me say that again. Today is December 25, 2015. Why is it 80 degrees here in South Carolina? Why is it 70 degrees in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania? Why is it breaking all kinds of records along the East Coast? I’ll tell you why. No I won’t. This is truly peculiar. I have never been a watcher of the weather channel. I pass it by once in a while, and if I see a buxom weather woman pointing to a map, I might just stop for a moment and stare. That’s just the way I am. Fortunately, my wife does understand my foibles.
I am afraid to go out into the street during the day. I am afeared that some weather related bolt will strike me and turn me into a pillar of salt. I have tried not to sin much of my life, but who knows if my kind of person didn’t populate Sodom or Gomorrah. There are weird smells in the air when I open the door to the outside of my house. I venture forth and walk around my house (not yet my home) to see any telltale signs of Armageddon (comes from the Hebrew Har Migiddo).
My neighborhood seems to be empty of people. Is it possible that it has finally happened? Have most of the people disappeared to be abducted by invaders from a different solar system. Is it possible that they are causing this bizarre weather? Could it be that they have warmed us up for a reason. Remember the science fiction story where aliens come to earth offering any help that they can give. They have a book called “To Serve Man,” which is really al cookbook.
Those are the kinds of feelings that I have as I open my garage door and search down the street for any signs of life. There are no cars in the offing. I walk to the end of the block and make a turn and further see no one. What has happened here? I know that we lived in a community of the elderly. Can they all have passed away without me noticing?

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