THE ADVANTAGES OF REALLY COLD WEATHER

For those of you who either have lived most of your lives in the warmer climes, or have snowbirded to more temperate weather, I propose that you are missing the joy of coldness. There are so many advantages to this frosty part of world that I am quite sure that I will miss many things. Here are but a few:

1. The line going up to the observation deck of the Empire State Building is almost empty during a snowstorm. I have actually experienced this myself.
2. When the hoi polloi go to the stores in preparation for a snow storm to buy bread, eggs, milk and toilet tissue, the other aisles are completely empty and the lines, although long, end very quickly because of the fewer items purchased by the storm troopers.
3. Appearance takes a back seat to comfort. The time needed to put on clothing fastidiously diminishes to nothing and application of makeup takes a few moments, rather than one half hour.
4. The seating at fine restaurants, even at Wendy’s, is open to you for what- ever part of the place you want to sit.
5. Getting your car serviced ( other than snow tires) is a breeze. I can bring in both cars in one day and have them finished in the morning and that includes the 35,000 mile checkup.
6. Children usually can quadruple their weekly allowances by working at snow shoveling.
7. The power companies increase their profits by many fold depending on the severity of the weather.
8. Weather channels and meteorologists are in demand and the viewing of these denizens of doom becomes an necessity.
9. Umbrella sales, boot sales, flannel shirt sales go through the roof. This is especially true of late Spring snow storms.
10. Winter sports, snowmobiling, and the Winter X games become more popular as the weather becomes more dramatic.
11. Staying indoors and watching deodorant and KY Jelly ads is a blessing to the advertising industry and the product manufacturers.
12. Football aficionados are much more interested in a game between the Packers and the Bears if it is in sub-zero weather on Lake Michigan.
13. Inventions are created to keep ones hands and feet warm. You cannot tell the difference between a masked bank robber and a bank client.
14. Children tend to see their parents more as a result of school closings and school delays.
15. Book sales on Amazon, either on the kindle, or for real, zoom upward.
16. Muggings and other crimes of the outdoors diminish significantly.
17. Drivers tend to diminish their speed, although there are always the loonies.
18. Generally, people are kinder in the cold, than in the heat. One only has to be in Florida for a few days to see the shoving on line at the early bird special.
19. Not only do you go to the movies to see a good picture, but also to get out of the cold.
20. Bird droppings are reduced to zero.
21. Going to work each day is a serious adventure and keeps you on your toes.

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